Most Ridiculous

The most ridiculous new food product I've come across recently: individually wrapped prunes.

Flame Wars Get Televised

Speed TV, the broadcaster of endless hours of automotive television that doesn't deserve to polish the Stig's helmet, live NASCAR qualifying, and no Formula One whatsoever, is planning to bring one of new media's least estimable features to the small screen. That's right; the flame wars that pervade automotive (and nearly every other) online forums are getting their own series. At least this show offers reality checks for a brand or model's most blindly ardent followers. Do you think your4140-lb Challenger SRT-8 3 is faster in the quarter mile than the other guy's 3870-lb Camaro SS because it has a Hemi in it? Are you of the belief that you can hustle your riced out FG Civic around a track faster than a stock second-gen Boxster S? This show will put your money where your mouth is.

Say it with me: Who ordered that?

Red Day

Guild mistress Felicia Day has been cast in the SyFy channel's original movie Red. The movie is part of SyFy's recent re-imagining of fairy tales as adventure flicks, and it will follow Red (Day), a descendant of Little Red Riding hood and a werewolf hunter. In general, I'm opposed to SyFy's original films, since they are typically craptastict, but Day's presence has my interest piqued. Sadly, I'm expecting that her creativity and acting ability will be wasted in the standard SyFy schlock.

Chocolate and Peanut Butter Meets Chocolate and Vanilla

My recent post about SyFy's latest theatrical abomination, Sharktopus, prompted Nick and Ken to post several excellent SyFy-worthy movie pitches in their comments. My contribution is called Dinoshark, and it's about...well, you can guess. Sadly, I can't claim to have invented the concept, because the man behind Sharktopus is also bringing Dinoshark to SyFy in March. Oh boy!

Sharktopus? Really?

The SyFy Channel, formerly known as SciFi, will be bringing us another D-grade monster flick. This one's called Sharktopus. No, seriously. Chocolate, meet peanut butter.

They Just Wanna, They Just Wanna

Today, after buying some gasoline, I went into the associated minute-mart or whatever to acquire some ade. While choosing my unnaturally colored beverage, I realized I knew the words to the over-produced, bubble-gum pop song being played over the store's sound system. But who was responsible for this un-asked-for cover? I whipped out my iPhone and set Shazam to work on that very question. In a moment I learned, to my horror, that Mylie Cyrus has recorded a version of "Girls Just Want to Have Fun." Oh the girlanity!

Bring on Ms. Squito

It appears that the former SciFi Channel (now known as SyFy), whose made-for-TV movies have supplied plenty of fodder for my "Who Ordered That?" tag, realizes just how ludicrous these films are.

Handerpants?

I don't think I've ever posted a clothing-related "Who ordered that?" post, but now I have a reason to do so: handerpants.

Voltron is Dead. Long Live Voltron.

It seems that the rights to make a live-action adaptation of Voltron have expired, leaving that project dead. Unfortunately, like a zombie, Voltron: The Motion Picture is rising from its own grave; another batch of ambitious-but-unoriginal producers is planning a big-screen adventure staring the compound robot. What makes these guys different? They plan to focus on the "human spirit" of which Voltron is the "personification." Yes, because a story about a robot made of other robots will certainly be a character-driven drama exploring what it means to be human and documenting the triumph of mankind's spirit.

Say it with me: Who ordered that?

Minear Nation

Variety is reporting that Tim Minear, after whom I named the Minear Effect, is planning a remake/continuation of the Alien Nation franchise for the SciFi---I mean, SyFy---Channel. At first, I wasn't not sure what to think of that. I certainly enjoyed the movie and the series. In particular, I liked how the show continually explored aspects of Newcommer physiology and culture. I also have enjoyed Minear's work. I mean, he contributed to The X-Files, Angel, Firefly, Wonderfalls, and Dollhouse, so of course I did. But I'm not sure Alien Nation needs to be brought back.

Still, it has been 20 years since the show aired, so it's clearly not too early for a reboot/make. Plus, Alien Nation was much more sophisticated and interesting than the original Battlestar Galactica, and look how well the re-imagined Battlestar turned out. And if anyone could re-invigorate this franchise, Minear can do it. (Maybe Joss Whedon or Ronald Moore could do it, too.) So perhaps I'll choose to be optimistic about this one. Except then there's that darned Minear Effect to worry about.

V

ABC has ordered a pilot for a series reimagining V.  Regular readers will know what question springs to my mind upon hearing this news.

The Graysons < The [BC]atwoman Hour

It seems that the CW is planning a series, entitled The Graysons, that would follow Dick Grayson before he became Robin. Think of it as a Boy Wonder analog of Smallville. As a person who believes that Robin is the weakest part of the Batman mythos, I have no interest in this potential show. I wouldn't mind seeing a series about Grayson's career as Nightwing, however, if only to see someone say "Blüdhaven" with a straight face.

Of course, a show following the romantic exploits of the new Batwoman, interrupted occasionally by fights with Catwoman, would be most welcome. Mmmm...Catwoman.

Edit: The reader comments following this story at IO9 are pretty amusing. Much more entertaining than the show could ever be.

Do they Plan to Call it Blade Runnerz?

It appears that the folks behind Eagle Eye are trying to get a sequel to Blade Runner off the ground.  I love Blade Runner, but I have no interest in seeing sequel made.

Hole in the Wall

Note to American television networks: Japanese game shows should not be copied, even if they are wildly popular in their home country.

Nissan Murano Convertible?

Usually, my "Who ordered that?" tag is deployed against the entertainment industry, most frequently for pointless sequels, unwanted adaptations, or unnecessary remakes. This time, I'm pulling out that tag for a vehicle. Specifically the Nissan Murano convertible. I mean what focus group convinced Nissan there was a market for a drop-top SUV?

Plan 9.1

Who ordered that?

Thundercats are Go!

It appears that a CGI Thundercats movie is in the works. Who ordered that?

The Cleveland Show

Who ordered that?

Sport Stacking

Alison and I had dinner at our favorite local Indian restaurant tonight. I notice a couple seated at a neighboring table, each member wearing a T-shirt printed, in part, with "Maryland Sport Stacking Championships." I wanted to ask them what it was, but Alison persuaded me to ask the internet, instead. It turns out that sport stacking is an activity in which individuals or teams stack plastic cups as quickly as possible. Hunh. I don't think I'll replace CrossFit, cycling, inline speed skating, hiking, or any of my other exercise activities with this "sport."

Tomato Attack

It seems that a remake of 1978's Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is in the works. Who ordered that, you ask? Some producer named M. Dal Walton III.