Muffy 5/15/1994 – 12/16/2008

Muffy was my family dog. We got her the summer before I went away to college from a pet store, not knowing any better. My mom had been thinking about getting a dog. Because I had allergies, she thought she wanted a Bichon, so she asked a local pet store to call her if they got any Bichons in. When they called, we went over, but the Bichon was a little boy and my mom wanted a girl pup. In the next cage over, we spotted Muffy. She looked just like the Bichon pup...a little white ball of fluff. But we were told she was a malti-poo. We played with her for half an hour in the pet store and fell in love. It was nearing closing time and they didn't take credit cards, so we gave them a deposit with the cash we had on hand and planned to come back the next day and pick her up. When we came back, she stood up in the little ex-pen she was in, wagging her back end as fast as she could and barked at us. We've always told the story that she recognized us when we came back for her...she knew we were her family. She rode home in my lap.

Muffy was a bright spot in our lives during a very hard time. My father had left our family just two years before we got her. My mom had gone back to work after he left and I was going away to college, so my sister was, for the first time, going to come home from elementary school to an empty house. Except it wasn't empty when Muffy was there. She greeted my sister with puppy kisses every day after school. It seems like such a small thing, but I will always, always be grateful that Muffy was there so Ashley didn't have to be home all alone when she was so little. In her later years, Muffy became something of a snowbird. My mom began having to travel to Florida to help her mother with some health issues, so Muffy went with her.

About a year and a half ago, Muffy was diagnosed with multiple health issues: a collapsing trachea, enlarged heart and liver, impaired kidney function and bladder stones. Lately she has been getting worse...unable to make it outside to pee, having weakness in her back legs. My mom called me today to let me know that she had taken Muffy to the vet yesterday and had her put to sleep. She had a tumor on her leg and wouldn't put weight on it and she wasn't getting up to go outside anymore. The vet thinks she had a stroke. I'm so sad for my sister who is going home soon for Christmas...she bought Muffy presents and was looking forward to seeing her again, especially because she knew it was probably for the last time.

Rest in peace, Muffy. We all loved you very much. You were my first dog, and the smartest dog I've ever known. May doggie heaven be full of soft pillows, warm laps, and bowls full of popcorn that you don't have to share.

Muffy Needs a Travel Agent

Well, folks, it looks like Muffy still has some life left in her. We have ourselves a new Muffy story...enjoy!

My mom just got back home from visiting me and helping my sister get settled in her new place here in MD. While she was here, Muffy was boarded at the kennel, which she hates. Well, it turns out that my mom had to leave town again rather suddenly. Muffy tends to get upset when suitcases emerge because that usually means that she is going to the kennel and/or somebody she likes is leaving, usually me or Ashley. So we generally try to hide our suitcases until the last minute to keep Muffy from getting too stressed out. Well, this morning my mom could wait no longer and the suitcase made its appearance before she went to get her bath. While she was in the tub, she heard a very strange sound...THUMP, THUMP, THUMP. Thinking someone was breaking in, she got dressed and went downstairs only to find Muffy jumping up at the closet door. Keep in mind that Muffy is 14 years old and does not do much jumping of any sort anymore. Yet there she was, jumping repeatedly at the closet door. Naturally, my mom opened it for her whereupon Muffy immediately jumped on top of her Sherpa bag that she rides in when she goes on trips with my mom. So, my mom took the bag out of the closet and went back upstairs to finish her bath. Once again she heard THUMP, THUMP, THUMP. This time she finished bathing, but when she came downstairs, Muffy had dragged the Sherpa bag to the front door and was sitting on it again. My mom opened it for her and she sat in it until my mom's ride to the airport arrived. Thank goodness my mom was already planning to take Muffy with her this time!

So, I think that's pretty clear...."Fine! If you are leaving again, lady, I am coming, too! There will be none of this kennel business this time!" I've said it before and I'll say it again...Muffy is one scary smart dog.

Muffy Story #3: Opposable Thumbs?

Muffy is, as I have said before, a very smart dog. Here is one example of her uncanny canine intellect.

When Muffy was a puppy she was very, very tiny. This made us very, very lax about keeping things out of her reach. However, one day we came home to find that she had learned to jump up onto the coffee table where my mom kept a little dish of Hershey's Kisses. Of course, we were horrified since chocolate is poisonous to dogs. Once we got over being horrified, though, we were frankly amazed. I imagine that when most dogs get into individually-wrapped chocolates they eat as much foil as they do chocolate. Not Muffy. She had perfectly unwrapped her prizes, as if she had opposable thumbs! There were perfect squares of foil all over the floor. They were barely even torn! She even managed to leave the little Hershey's Kiss flags behind.

Well, no more of that! We put the chocolates on the sofa table which was much taller...way too tall for Muffy to jump up on. Except Muffy learned that if she jumped up on the sofa and then climbed up the arm and across the back of the sofa, she could easily hop onto the sofa table and knock the chocolate onto the floor and have a feast. At least, that's what we assume she did since we came home to, you guessed it, perfectly unwrapped and totally eaten Hershey's Kisses.

Now my mom keeps the candy dish on top of the antique icebox which is about four feet high and sits by itself in the corner. Muffy has not figured that one out yet, thank goodness, and it has been eleven years now, so we feel pretty comfortable keeping the candy dish up there. I'm not convinced, however, that Muffy has not been plotting this whole time. I half expect that we will come home one day to a rope ladder made out of her dog bed lining, an empty candy dish, and very neatly unwrapped candy wrappers all over the floor.

Muffy Story #2: Eau de Bounce

Muffy and my mom live in a northern state where it is cold for many months out of the year. This often confuses Muffy because if it is pretty and sunny outside then she wants to go sit on her back porch. She doesn't quite grasp that if it looks nice outside, it is not necessarily warm outside. My mom's house has bay French doors leading out onto the patio and there is a step that runs along them where Muffy loves to sit and watch the world go by. However, on days when it is sunny but cold, Muffy will beg to go out and then very shortly thereafter beg to come in. Of course, within 10 minutes or so she will have forgotten that it is cold outside and she will once again want to go out because, "It's sunny out Mom! Let's go sit on the step!". In, out, in, out...you get the idea.

Well, one day when Muffy was a puppy, we were having an "in, out, lather, rinse, repeat" kind of day when suddenly she stopped begging to come in. Frankly, we didn't really notice. We were probably just grateful that she had decided to stay put for a while. Well, when she finally did come in some time later, we realized when we picked her up that she smelled...oddly clean. In fact, she smelled like fabric softener! This was somewhat disturbing since the fabric softener, along with all of the other laundry implements, is kept in the basement where, to our knowledge, Muffy had never been.

A few days later, when it was again sunny and cold, we figured out how Muffy got her new perfume. The dryer exhaust vent is situated on the side of the house directly above the step where Muffy likes to sit. She had figured out that it was warm and was sitting there on cold days when she wanted to be outside. She still does it to this day. In fact, my mom has admitted to doing a load of laundry specifically so that Muffy can have her space heater on cold days.

Muffy the Mom Trainer

So here is part 2 of today's puppy-related posts. Pupposts I call them. Ha! I crack me up.

Anyway, for those of you who have not heard me prattle on and on about my family's dog, Muffy, I am going to begin a series of stories about her. I have a million of 'em, but here is one of my (and Michael's) favorites.

First of all, Muffy is a malti-poo. Check out the link for a picture of the breed. Basically it is a cross between a maltese and a toy poodle. Muffy is little (10 lbs soaking wet), girly, and as a puppy was about as cute as any animal can be. Between her utter cuteness and the fact that she was often home alone with my sister, who was seven years old at the time, Muffy didn't get trained much...or, um, at all really. In fact, she is extremely smart so she has done a bang-up job of training us. One example of her people-training prowess is illustrated in the following story.

Last Christmas, Muffy received three different kinds of treats from Santa Paws (Santa Paws is, of course, the doggie Santa). When she wants a treat, she will go stare longingly at the pantry until she has been ignored for too long, at which point she will go find you and bark at you. Anyway, one day after Christmas, she indicated to my mom that she wanted a treat. My mom gave her one, but Muffy did not run over to her usual treat-eating spot (the braided area rug). Instead, she stood there looking at my mom, with the treat hanging out of her mouth uneaten, wagging her tail uncertainly. So, my mom opened the pantry again. Muffy immediately dropped the first treat and got all excited. This time, my mom gave her a different kind of treat and Muffy trotted off to eat it on the braided rug. So, the next time Muffy wanted a treat, my mom put a few of each kind in a little tin. She then held it down so that Muffy could pick which kind she wanted. See? A perfectly trained mom!

The really funny part of this is that Muffy would not always choose the same kind of treat (although she did have a favorite) and, moreover, she would only choose one treat each time rather than trying to eat all of them when she had the chance. She is nothing if not polite, huh? :)

Anyway, stay tuned for more Muffy stories in the future!

Bark Woof Muffy Arf Bow-Wow Grrr

Bark Alison woof howl grrr Muffy woof growl; ruff slurp lick lick. Pant pant pant yap growl. Arf bow-wow arf. Sharon howl woof grrr. Woof grr! Howl howwwl yap---bark ruff grr---woof bow-wow. (Woof arf arf woof yap.) Woof woof Ashley grrr growl! Pant lick lick. Slurp lick pant yap. Howl howwwl. Bark bark lick slurp: “Hotlap.” Bow-wow grrr ruff.

Ruff. Bark growl.

As Seen on TV

So I'm watching the Science Channel (of all things), and on comes and ad (advert, for you Brits) for Doggy Steps, a small "flight" of three carpeted steps that your older, arthritic, overweight, or small-breed dog can use to get up onto the furniture or into the car. Now, it's not so much the Doggy Steps themselves that I find funny; rather it's the marketing campaign. The TV ad went through the whole cliché process of suggesting progressively lower prices for the product. Then, because one marketing cliché isn't enough, it made an "incredible double offer": a second set of steps for free! (Except for additional shipping.) Meanwhile, I was constantly treated to short clips of small dogs easily ascending onto beds or into cars, there to be embraced by their waiting and adoring owners. Awwww.

Of course, that is a pretty good price. And I would get two of them. And at that price, they won't last long. And those dogs are really cute. Hmmm. I'd better place my order today. Wait! We don't have a dog. Curse your evil genius, doggysteps.com!

I would say that this is exactly what Muffy needs, but Alison and Sharon have already planned to build a carpeted ramp for her instead.

Anyway, you should check out the site. Be sure to note the famous "as-seen-on-TV" logo in the corner. Hah!