Fish-Dudes on Parade

A few days ago, two stories about moving-picture adaptations of comics featuring Atlantean nobility hit the net. That’s right, two.

• First, Chris Columbus said that the feature film based on the Marvel comic The Sub-Mariner, which was announced last year, will not be going forward. Now, as I'm sure all of you know, the Sub-Mariner, also known as Prince Namor, is a human/Atlantean half-breed who has several Atlantean powers---principally breathing under water, super strength, and communicating with sea creatures--- and at least two non-Atlantean ones ---breathing air and flying. Yep, I said he can fly. The last time I checked, humans don't fly, so I'm not sure which parent he's supposed to have gotten that from. If I were his human "father", I'd be pretty suspicious.
• Second, the people behind "Smallville" were apparently quite happy with the guest appearance, on that show, of a character called Arthur Curry, AKA Aquaman. Aquadude, as I like to call him, is a DC character whose powers include breathing underwater, swimming quickly, and---you have to see this coming---communicating with sea creatures. Yawn. I mean, how did this guy ever get into the Justice League of America? Anyway, the Smallville guys were so happy that they plan to produce a new series featuring the character. On the show, Aquaman will not be identified by that name, nor will he "be talking to fish or riding a seahorse". Whaaaa. I want to see them try to pull off the seahorse-riding thing. You know it'd be hilarious. Now the burning question in my mind is, will there be an Aqualad?

You have to admire the karmic symmetry of these two stories: one fish-man on the ascent, the other sinking. I'm there are some fanboys out there who could explain this in terms of the longstanding DC/Marvel rivalry. Ready...set...pontificate!

Now I'm going to go do whatever it takes to get the Super Friends theme music out of my head.