So, continuing with my Jon stories, here are two short anecdotes about Jon and his tendency toward culinary ineptitude.
Apparently, when Jon first moved into his own apartment (as opposed to the dorms where they cook for you), he decided to make a frozen pizza for dinner. Ah, frozen pizza. The ultimate bachelor food. It's sooooo easy! All you do is throw it in a frying pan on top of the stove and heat!
Wait, you mean that's NOT how you cook a frozen pizza? Well, tell that to Jon. He swears that it turned out OK, but I imagine it wasn't pretty. Apparently, he ate it anyway, though.
Jon also likes to call me up for advice on various girl-related things such as cooking rice. He called me up one night and said, "Hey, how do you cook rice? I bought a bag of rice, but I don't know how to cook it and I have a girl coming over soon." I patiently explained that the way to cook rice was to turn the bag over and read the back where it said, "Instructions" or possibly "Directions" and then do what it said. He was pretty amazed at my culinary prowess. "Wow! How did you know to do that?" he said admiringly.
I really enjoy these two stories because it wasn't like he screwed up complicated French recipes or something. He just didn't read the darned package! Twice!
Ah, Jon...
Showing posts with label Jon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jon. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
The Ultimate Jon Story
OK, so I have a friend Jon who is the king of doing goofy things. He is not at all stupid...he's actually quite smart, but somehow he ends up in situations that beg the comment, "Wha...?” Thus begins a series of blog entries. Every so often, I will regale you with one of the vast number of Jon stories in my repertoire. Jon is, aside from being a very good friend, endlessly entertaining. :)
Jon always starts this particular story by saying, "You know when you were a kid and you made concoctions in the bathroom?” When everyone continues looking at him blankly, he gamely explains further, "You know, like, you mixed the toothpaste and the mouthwash just to see what it would smell like?” (Blank stares from the crowd) Anyway, at this point Jon just goes on with the story. Apparently, he liked to make concoctions in the bathroom when he was a kid, but he was not allowed to keep them in the "mouth rinsing cup" that his mom kept in the bathroom. He had to rinse his concoctions down the drain when he was finished to keep the "mouth rinsing cup" clean and tidy. So, one day he invented an AMAZING concoction. Man, did it smell good! He really needed to keep it and, being unable to keep it in the aforementioned cup, he began looking through the bathroom cabinets for ways to preserve his creation. Lo and behold, under the sink he found the perfect do-dad! He stuck it into the cup whereupon it absorbed all of the concoction, and it still smelled great! Heck, it even had a string so he could hang it up like an air freshener! Perfection! Jon proceeded to tack his new ornament up on his wall.
When Jon's dad came home from work, he went up to Jon's room to see how his son's day had been. Somewhere in the middle of their conversation, he laid eyes on Jon's ornament and immediately addressed Jon by his FULL name (uh-oh!) and announced that they needed to have a talk. The way Jon describes it, he learned a lot more than he really wanted to know about girls that day.
Now, the really funny part of the story is....how old do you think he was?
Go on, take a guess...
Fourteen. Yes, seriously. Fourteen.
Ah, Jon... :)
Jon always starts this particular story by saying, "You know when you were a kid and you made concoctions in the bathroom?” When everyone continues looking at him blankly, he gamely explains further, "You know, like, you mixed the toothpaste and the mouthwash just to see what it would smell like?” (Blank stares from the crowd) Anyway, at this point Jon just goes on with the story. Apparently, he liked to make concoctions in the bathroom when he was a kid, but he was not allowed to keep them in the "mouth rinsing cup" that his mom kept in the bathroom. He had to rinse his concoctions down the drain when he was finished to keep the "mouth rinsing cup" clean and tidy. So, one day he invented an AMAZING concoction. Man, did it smell good! He really needed to keep it and, being unable to keep it in the aforementioned cup, he began looking through the bathroom cabinets for ways to preserve his creation. Lo and behold, under the sink he found the perfect do-dad! He stuck it into the cup whereupon it absorbed all of the concoction, and it still smelled great! Heck, it even had a string so he could hang it up like an air freshener! Perfection! Jon proceeded to tack his new ornament up on his wall.
When Jon's dad came home from work, he went up to Jon's room to see how his son's day had been. Somewhere in the middle of their conversation, he laid eyes on Jon's ornament and immediately addressed Jon by his FULL name (uh-oh!) and announced that they needed to have a talk. The way Jon describes it, he learned a lot more than he really wanted to know about girls that day.
Now, the really funny part of the story is....how old do you think he was?
Go on, take a guess...
Fourteen. Yes, seriously. Fourteen.
Ah, Jon... :)
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