Monday, January 30, 2006

The Ultimate Jon Story

OK, so I have a friend Jon who is the king of doing goofy things. He is not at all stupid...he's actually quite smart, but somehow he ends up in situations that beg the comment, "Wha...?” Thus begins a series of blog entries. Every so often, I will regale you with one of the vast number of Jon stories in my repertoire. Jon is, aside from being a very good friend, endlessly entertaining. :)

Jon always starts this particular story by saying, "You know when you were a kid and you made concoctions in the bathroom?” When everyone continues looking at him blankly, he gamely explains further, "You know, like, you mixed the toothpaste and the mouthwash just to see what it would smell like?” (Blank stares from the crowd) Anyway, at this point Jon just goes on with the story. Apparently, he liked to make concoctions in the bathroom when he was a kid, but he was not allowed to keep them in the "mouth rinsing cup" that his mom kept in the bathroom. He had to rinse his concoctions down the drain when he was finished to keep the "mouth rinsing cup" clean and tidy. So, one day he invented an AMAZING concoction. Man, did it smell good! He really needed to keep it and, being unable to keep it in the aforementioned cup, he began looking through the bathroom cabinets for ways to preserve his creation. Lo and behold, under the sink he found the perfect do-dad! He stuck it into the cup whereupon it absorbed all of the concoction, and it still smelled great! Heck, it even had a string so he could hang it up like an air freshener! Perfection! Jon proceeded to tack his new ornament up on his wall.

When Jon's dad came home from work, he went up to Jon's room to see how his son's day had been. Somewhere in the middle of their conversation, he laid eyes on Jon's ornament and immediately addressed Jon by his FULL name (uh-oh!) and announced that they needed to have a talk. The way Jon describes it, he learned a lot more than he really wanted to know about girls that day.

Now, the really funny part of the story old do you think he was?

Go on, take a guess...

Fourteen. Yes, seriously. Fourteen.

Ah, Jon... :)


  1. Yay, a Jon story, my favorite! Having heard Alison tell most of the Jon stories---the ones that exist so far, that is---I'm looking forward to reading more in the future.
    Also, since I've heard these stories, I can tell people who only read them here that they are the poorer for not getting to hear Alison's impersonation of Jon and his father. She also does a good job with her mom, my mom, and Melinda. Additionally---and I find this both amusing and horrifying---she does a spot-on ditzy Valley girl.

  2. Anonymous11:04 AM

    Well done!! I will be waiting for the rest to appear too -- yippee!

    You'll probably want to smack me for this, but I believe the correct spelling is... "doodad" not "do-dad". Please excuse me for being a big nerd! Although, considering the two characters in the story, maybe your spelling is more fun ;)

  3. This story is tactfully and masterfully delivered.

    I can only imagine what a mind bender it was on Jon's father.

  4. Such a good Jon story.

    I do have to reply to this comment: She also does a good job with her mom, my mom, and Melinda.

    I feel so left out!